Friday, December 14, 2007

Not In a Million Years, continued

continued from Wednesday, December 12

"Elisabeth" had not yet told her recently-ex, sort-of fiancee yet. The "good news" entitled November 5 email (addressed to her mother, father, two brothers, and to me) reads:

Well family, it seems that the less-than-0.8% chance of me getting pregnant. I just got the news today from the doctor, who says my numbers look really strong, and he's going to do an ultrasound this Friday. I'm only one month along, and of course there is a high risk for miscarriage and birth defects, so I will stay guardedly optimistic for another 2-3 months until I've passed those milestones. And don't worry about me. If the pregnancy fails, I'll be fine, I really will. It's the last thing I expected to happed, so I'll take whatever is thrown my way..... he doctor is shocked.

She/they ( - the embryo/baby) have now passed 2 1/2 months of the three months milestones. I don't know at what point amniocentesis is required.

I love her. I love my mother and stepfather and brother, my uncles, and aunt, and the little town in Tennessee [I will have to come up with a pseudonym for that as well] where they will be meeting for Christmas, but I can't go. Maybe her doctor was right that "we" "silly girls couldn't grasp the complex psychological complex scars" of sharing the experience of a baby for her.


Merelyme said...

hey friend...i wrote a little something about your site on my blog. come see!

Anonymous said...

I'm come right in the middle of this story here so I'm confused about if your friend is carrying a baby for you from your egg or is she pregnant from her significant other?

The story is certainly touching as is the rest of your blog.

Austin of Sundrip Journals

+PHc said...


Sorry to be confusing. The entry is continued from, and introduced in the Wednesday entry previous.

My cousin and I are both 41. Both always very much wanted families of our own. She had physical reasons for the "impossibility" of having children. I have situational impossibilities.

I made a desperate offer of using my life and body anyway I could to offer her that since I am not in a position, or have life-expectancy, to raise anyone's child. But my body could safely have one (HIV-wise)medically these days.

She was having fertility treatment and adoption issues. Whether I were to be an egg donor, or carry a child for her, by artificial insemination, at least "her" child would be biological family.

The whole idea is crazy and insanely desperate.

But she has just - right after finally breaking up with a relationship with a fiancee who was no good for her - found out she was, against all fertility odds, pregnant by him.

I believe she will be the best mother there could be on her own, although that would always be hard no matter how financially comfortable you are, (which she is). And I am thrilled.

But this has all just occurred and I'm not ready for the family gathering around the excitement of it for Christmas. It's too much.

So I cancelled my trip, and am staying here with my cat.

Thank you very much for visiting. I will look up "Sundrip Journals."

+PHc said...


I saw that last night and didn't (and don't) know what to say - but visited Whimsy immediately. I can't believe you did that. Thank you so much! I'm lonely over here.

+PHc said...

Anonymous again -

What I left out that I think made the whole already-complicated idea confusing to read was that I would have to go off all my medications (a lot) - both HIV (and HIV-related) and psych meds.

+PHc said...


I tried to leave a comment at "the First Child of Sundrip Journals" in case that was you but couldn't get in.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Wow! I'm glad your cousin got what she wanted but hate that it's from a guy who's no good for her. I hope the pregnancy goes well.

Thanks for stopping by my place. Isn't Merelyme just too sweet!