Saturday, December 29, 2007

Exposed by Me


More to follow here (this post)...gradually. As explanation, I've referred a couple times to an article from this blog I sold to a magazine. It's not a big deal - except to me - I've done bigger deals in the past (see "Newsweek in time"). My content in this upcoming article was personal in a way I would not have written unvieled from the blog. So I feel extremely vulnerable about it but also driven to say what I want to say when offered this opportunity, which is frighteningly taboo (which is why they noticed it) - and unintentionally potentially hurtful, but I will write more about the piece itself in the next post.

This post is about the photo shoot, which was really scary, and which I was very unprepared for. The magazine requires a full page photograph, and although I want my concern to be about what I said, I also want the photo to go with and enhance what I said, and to represent me (- which it will by my unpreparedness!). I didn't feel good so hadn't even washed in hair in a couple of days. (I did wear make-up which is rare.) The weather was bad so we had to do the shoot in my dark little apartment, which makes the whole thing more intimate (BUT, on the bright side, it meant not only free - but PAID portraits of my cat with me! - so I'm trying to stay focused on that, if all else fails.) My apartment had all kind of random things around I wouldn't have wanted around. And I accidentally bleached the only shirt I felt comfortable doing this in, right before the photographer (Tony Burditt) got there. So I wore pink - which I never wear - but which is definitely relevant to the article (and pale enough to pass for ivory).

I had asked the magazine if I would be able to see the layout before other people I don't know were going to see it just to feel more secure about it, and they said no, but the photographer was nice enough to send me the raw copies of the whole shoot. So what I'm doing is altering them thoroughly and making a creative game of it (like did you notice how cool the top of the curtains look on that first one?) and publishing my version first (gradually) so I will feel some control over the process. I realize that since I have trepidation about linking my face to my words here,too, this project might be counterproductive, but I'm unimportant enough to be able to un-publish this if it feels like too much.

That was probably an unnecessary prelude, but here is some of my version of my photo shoot:






11 comments:

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Beautiful!

Merelyme said...

this is lovely...you did this just right! you protect your anonymity but also friends can see you.

Aero Broken said...

One foot at a time.. Brave acts strengthen the soul...

+PHc said...

Whimsy, Thank you first.

Merelyme, I hope it seems that way. I feels more like if I just show this one keeping my eyes closed, or ones to follow looking away from the camera, you won't see me as well - like a child.

Aero, YOU strengthen my soul.

Merelyme said...

oh hey...we are all children really. i know i am. anyways...you are very beautiful...i can tell that but i knew that without any picture. :>)

keep sharing what you want to share with us. we will be here!

Krishna said...

It's wonderful to have friends like the people who have left comments... You are beautiful...I have always thought that. I hope you won't suffer from feeling too exposed.
Much Love

Dream Writer said...

Love the pictures. You look awesome. :) Thanks for stopping by my blog and giving your support. :)

+PHc said...

KD,

Yes. Thank you. And I hope not too.


Dream Writer,

Thank you very much. And you're very, very welcome.

Aero Broken said...

Building off my earlier comment in addition to the post...

“Does God know you've escaped from heaven?”

My heart goes to your reveal!

Godspeed -

PS: I'll reply to the comments in awhile on my posts. I've real world stuff at moment to care for.

+PHc said...

I hear ya about the real world stuff but, when you get a chance, what does "Godspeed" mean to you?

zach said...

You look lovely. Really lovely.