My soft beeper has gone off that I'm supposed to be asleep, but I want to write.
I need to give myself my antivirals, my cat her infusion (which we tried earlier, but she got away with the needle still stuck in her scruff), put on pajamas, and go to bed.
The dinner with my cousin and her husband was nice. Christmas-y. It is so easy to enjoy feeling love for my family, and for myself in their company, as one of them.
Conversation was easy. Not light, but easy. We are all very glad about my newly-pregnant other cousin being so strong about standing on her own two feet about her not-good-for-her-ex-fiance. Everyone is in agreement on that, in a caring way, not a gossipy or mean way to him. A little baffled, but not mean. The baby's going to have our family name, and our entire extensive, traditional, organized-pedigree-chart, shot-gun wedding family are, somehow, all like, "You go, girl." She wanted a baby so badly, and tried so hard for so long. When she finally broke up with him, she conceived, and when she finally gets settled as a mother with her successful career, and realizes she doesn't need a husband at all, we're all divining that a good man for her will show up.
I wish giving up was all it took for some of the rest of us.
I had a glass of Pinot Grigio (which is definitely better than Valium), but I don't think it will be a problem. I'm not going out to buy any bottles of it.