Thursday, December 27, 2007

Missing

I had an appointment with my therapist at 3:00 that I wanted and needed to go to. and couldn't, so I am trying now to get dressed and go to the pharmacy to get my anti-depressants. I can't explain this at all what this feels like. If I breathe I'll cry. My hands are shaking so much I can't write this. And I'm afraid they are closing soon. The pharmacy. My therapist I talked to on the phone, after I missed the appointment, made me promise to go to the pharmacy, and would call in the morning.

I just wanted to thank you that there were comments here, "The Day After Christmas". I think if there weren't, I would just take sleeping pills. Not to die or anything, just not to feel like this. The pharmacy delivers, on Wednesdays, if you get it set up to. I will write when I get back. Why is this thing, this blog so magic? Why does it help when emails and phone calls don't feel safe instead of the other way around?

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Please get set up for weekly pharmacy deliveries again. They are reliable and safe and then you wouldn't have to struggle to get there on time on hard days. Please.

Carol said...

You ask "Why is this thing, this blog so magic?" I've been asking myself the same thing since I started mine over two years ago. It DOES seem magic at times, and maybe that's because we put so much of ourselves - our emotions and feelings - into writing the blog. And comments are treasured because they validate us. Just my thoughts on the topic. :-) Hope you got your meds and are feeling better.

+PHc said...

Sarah,
I think it is now set up for delivery. That means I can't leave the apartment on Wednesdays till they get here which can be early to 6PM, and I feel guilty having them delivered when I'm doing well, thinking of the people worse off than me standing in the line there. But yeah the crashes are unpredictable and my memory - I just forget to pick them up.

Carol,
I'm so glad you showed up - (knowing nothing about you, Just a gut feeling). Yes I have my meds and it's still kind of a roller-coaster, but nothing like it is without them.

I hit on your name above and saw listed four blogs, but for some reason the window wouldn't open enough for me to see any addresses. I hope you check back here to know the addresses (or the address of the one you feel you put the most f yourself, emotions and feelings into.

(I assume you found me through Greta , because I saw Cotillion on there.)

Thanks

Carol said...

Yes, I found you through Greta. My blog is The Median Sib (http://themediansib.com). I have other blogs - but not active or personal ones.
How's the shorter hair going for you? I read that you cut your braid off - so now it is frayed. :-)