Friday, January 18, 2008


I'm very wound up and in the mood to write about my day today - to be present tense.  And to maybe add an if-y photograph I took.  And to change things around.  A little hypomanic.  But I have my job tomorrow.  So sleep has to work.  (I've been working on Saturday mornings and during the week on my own time - all for the same project).  But on Fridays I get to work in a real office in a formal building downtown - which is good for me (besides that I learn a lot) because it makes the "real" people seem like real people.  - All more qualified - but human - which feels like it makes me breathe a little differently. 

Nothing's for money.  It's all barter - for car-ride-requiring errands, and cat-sitting (- which required medical training, and is high maintenance because of my cat's kidney disease and her weight right now)  - which will allow me to go visit my family next month since I couldn't for Christmas.  I can't afford to board my cat with infusion costs even though KD [see cast of characters in sidebar] offers vet expense help (which otherwise would be my greatest expense).  I trust the people at my cat clinic, but I don't want her in a cage.

I'll write about today tomorrow, and I'll write about my work once I have something to show for it.


laughingwolf said...

sounds to me like you are doing the little things you need to retain your sanity, and continue to take the steps to move on... hope the visit home is successful, hon!

tati said...

I've just read your postings. They make me miss you more.
I wish we could be physically closer, but now through blogging, we can at least keep up.

I have comments about some of your postings, but I am loathe to put too many reactions and opinions into writing. They stay the same even as I have changed, sometimes as quickly as moments later. Although writing and composition can be so breathtakingly beautiful (as you've shown)and words can cut through seemingly impenetrable psychoemotional walls, the fear of reprisal, misunderstandings, responsibility, etc looms over me. I guess those reasons are why I fear writing but am so drawn to it. That extends to written reactions and comments as well.
But I digress- I'm glad you've started this blog and others have found you. Selfishly, I'm also glad to have a way to keep in touch with you and we don't have to pack so much into our increasingly infrequent visits.

Jim said...

Keeping busy is the key for me to have a positive life and I think this will be good for you. Makes you feel worthy and feel like you are part of the world.

I will be thinking about you.

Looking forward to see your next post.

Hugs, Jim

+Positive House said...

Laughingwolf and Jim,

Thank you very much for the hugs and blessings! I am (and have been) doing much more than little things to retain my sanity, and have been continually very busy maintaining my health. - What is new is the feeling that I have found a way - been invited into a way - to contribute very much, to someone who has helped me very much. It feels like more work than I can keep up with, and makes me feel even more respect for people who do so much more than I do every day. I won't feel like I'm "moving forward" till I continue my education though, which I still haven't given up on. Thanks for commenting.

Tati! Welcome.

You can say what you want here without even saying you know me from here on if you don't want. And the "moderate comments" setting notifies me when new comments are made on past posts, so please - feel free!

But I would love it if you started a blog, too. You have a unique and valuable vantage point in so many ways. (And I think a need to express.)


+PHc said...

BTW - +Positive House is my other blog. (+PHc stands for +Positive House caretaker.) I accidentally somehow signed with the wrong signature.

laughingwolf said...

friends can be the most important allies we have, sometimes more so than family....

Merelyme said...

hey there...sorry for being in my own little world lately. just want you to know you are never far from my thoughts. i do want to hear about your work...i am very interested.

whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Getting out (even a little bit) helps. I volunteer two afternoons a week and it does me a world of good.