Geodon is the only drug of it's ilk that I can take side-effect-wise even though that is the one I od-ed on trying to play it by ear. [reference tomorrow] Too much... too little.... I'm strongly inclined to try to wean myself off it, against the advise of everyone who knows me. I understand that it is very helpful when it is helpful. But it's 3:52 in the morning. I did my work (my real work - see last post "Work") downtown yesterday till 5:30 PM, hiked up the cable car line home again (since I didn't stamp my transportation card this month again) (I did get that ticket taken care of [will link refer that too) tidied the place and the cat with my cat-sitter on his way home, ate my frozen cannelloni, called my brother to say hello and ask a tech question, took my antivirals, Geodon, fell asleep without Ambien (- which is good because I want to save them because Geodon also seems to cancel them out so sometimes I need more than one - which also might have been part of that od sedation). I did everything right and I am wide fucking awake. I tried. I tried letting sleep sink in from the somnolent cat curled around my chest.
I've been doing the Saturday part of my work in the mornings - still not early like most people are capable, but morning. Thankfully tomorrow, he (my cat-sitter doesn't need me till 1:00 PM, but this is really pissing me off because I'm trying to do everything right. And morning is going to suck now 1:00 PM or not. OK I'm taking another Ambien (against the rules because I took one an hour ago) but sometimes they seem to have no effect all - only with the Geodon. Otherwise they are heavenly reliable.
I'm sorry to be complaining. If I weren't really trying, it wouldn't matter. I'd just sleep when I can, and not venture too far from the apartment alone for when the sedation hits.
I am, wishing everyone else better luck, though.