Thank you for your feedback.
I will not ever post an email again. I would like to explain why I did - not as justification - I was wrong - but as explanation, but first I do want to make it clear that "my friend" knows my writing this way is profoundly therapeutic for me and he cares about me that way, and he said to me, as I said in earlier posts, "Write anything you want to write [anonymously] that would be helpful to you," and he promised to not read it for this one month so that he would be in no way inhibiting.
Why I posted the emails (his and mine), rather than discussed my personal reactions to the whole situation, was that I didn't know what my reaction was - past the profound relief he was HIV-negative. I had a lot of conflicting emotions about his casual-seeming reactions to testing (when that's just the way he is) and conflicting emotions about a lot of things about a part of my life that is rare and precious and gone. The closest confidant I have was traveling and out of contact, I have no one close here to talk to, my family members care, but are far away and busy with their lives and didn't get it how strongly I felt, and my therapist was unavailable.
I did not know how to respond to "my frend's" email, except in the way that I did in mine - which I didn't know was not wrong in itself. I did not know what to say about any of it and was completely overtaken by it all. And did something that wasn't alright. Just put it out there as it was for whatever that meant which I still don't understand.